Summer is coming around and it’s time for a change.
This week I’ve updated my website, deleted my tumblr, made a new flickr account, and have started a project that will be made into a book. After recently getting off anti-depressants/anxiety meds I feel like I have more energy and a bigger need to go out and do stuff. Next week I plan to clean out my wet plate collodion bottles, replenish my silver nitrate, and order more chemicals…maybe even a 3-man ice fishing tent for on location wet plate shooting.
I don’t know what my summer goals are yet, but I do plan on making a lot of wet plate collodion images this summer. I’m feeling a lot better and want to stay productive.
I used to love being in the photo lab at CSULB all the time. There were always people in there working and having fun…it was a chance for me to actually socialize and feel good. It was my Mecca…I honestly don’t know what has happened the past few months or years but my depression/anxiety are really fucking up my life. I take meds that are supposed to help but I don’t know I just don’t feel it. Recently I’ve been taking Valium to help with anxiety and I just started taking pristiq…the Valium kind of helps but not really. I am on a very low dose…I have noticed a pretty bad side effect though. I can barely remember what I did yesterday and I can’t even remember anything that happened last week. So I plan to talk to my doctor pretty soon. This situation just sucks….I’ve been so desperate to try and feel something (happiness mostly) so I hosted a photo club intro party. We had a pretty good turn out but it sucks how I was completely surrounded by people and still felt completely alone and desperate.
I am honestly trying my best to keep a happy face around others but lately it just feels like an iron mask that’s slipping off..people are really starting to see my negativity and I’m kind of afraid that since they don’t really understand my situation I could be losing friends/contacts.
I’m usually good at solving problems I just can’t understand why I can’t figure out my own.
I knew I couldn’t last long without getting another 8×10 camera…
Randomly stumbled upon someone wanting to trade their Mamiya 7ii with 65mm lens for an 8×10 set up. So I messaged him and a few emails later we decided to trade! So I’ll be shooting alot with a mamiya 7ii from now on..I love medium format but its just so hard to lug my rz67 in some situations. It’ll be a nice change being able to carry around a nice rangefinder with me
I really will miss the fujinon 300mm f/5.6 lens though…that was some realllllly nice glass. If I ever get another 8×10 camera I’m going to have to hunt another one of those lenses down
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Tagged 300mm, 6x7, 8x10, CSULB, Eric Omori, fujinon, large format, large format photography, lens, mamiya 7ii, medium format, photography, trade